Naked heart.

2009-08-04T03:29:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.
Dad met an accident.
There's so many people visiting currently.
My head's spinning like shitz.
And it feels good talking to Mum (like finally!) after the cold shoulders and whatnot-s.
Tough week.

2009-08-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

Sunday, 020809.
The 170th post, only for you, MdShzwn.

Do you know how much I yearn for you?
My knees trembled, my heart beats so fast I can't think straight. What spell have you caste on me? It's been a long time since I had this feeling, of being loved and cherished by someone. This feeling I have is here to stay. Let's make this worthwhile.

2009-07-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

Breathe - TelepopMusik

Life's getting insane right now.

85 days to the Big O's. When I wake up every morning, these daunting two-digits get smaller. Totally scary.

Yesterday, Mummy said she can't imagine how I would survive if she ~~died~~left. Certainly not something I wanted to hear from her, especially at this period of time. If she left me, I'll leave too. Can't imagine life without Mummy.

Well, life isn't so bad when you know you're not the only one suffering in this world. Good thing is, I managed to kick retail therapy out of my lifestyle. Mummy said it's a great achievement, saved money. I had to buy the tin bank from Daiso, the one where once you put in the money, you can't get it back unless you use a can opener. So every time I wna spend, I'll painstakingly withdraw my hand and put the money into my wallet back, go home and put it in my tin bank. Whoa, great or whut. At this rate I'm going, I guess I can buy ehem-ehem.

It's August already. Can you believe how fast time flies? Wonder who's birthday is coming heh? I think I need to practise proper English. Whtevr k :/

2009-07-27T02:50:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG/

Hahahhaa, k now i can't stop laughing.
Y'know, if you're just tired of studying and really need a break,
try visiting your typical M & M-s blogs.
The way they blog, are just plain, HILARIOUS.

NAH AMBEK KAU, NAK SGT PER.

2009-07-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

Like any other teenager, I have a tendency to procrastinate. I do not comprehend why there is a need for examinations, because I believe it contributes negatively to a student's well-being.

You know, sometimes you should listen to yourself more. Only then will can you realise how naive you can be.

I should be contented with my life now, only that the daunting O's are nearing.

2009-07-20T03:59:00.000-07:00

Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas

Life is not a 30 minute sitcom. It takes time to resolve problems. Without patience, you'd never stick out a problem long enough to solve it.

Bulan dan bintang menjadi saksi.

2009-06-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

~~1. Surrender my laptop.~~
2. Save the bank acct.
3. Trim hair.
~~4. Holland Medi Kit Bag.~~
5. PIGGY BANK.
6. Say BYEBYE.

Okay, dah bye bitches and crooks.
Yeah, kau.

2009-06-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

I hyperventilated when I saw you.
No, not exaggerating.

But I got sick when you started it.
Now, here's to you.

"Enough of the DRAMA. I quit."

2009-06-17T05:44:00.001-07:00

IN MY HANDS NOW. HEHEHE.
Success!
Next, is the camera.

2009-06-14T02:24:00.000-07:00

Whoa.
"Aper hal sumer orang blog mcm kau ni ar?
Takder originality langsung.
Inilah namer nyer plagiarising."

I didn't believe what my brother said, until he showed me this person's blog. Apparently, this person had copied the exact paragraphs from my blog. Tsk.

Anyway, Plan A cancelled, so it's Plan B.

And yeah, I hafta stop this.
Everytime I wna spend, put the money in the kocek okay?
Balik rumah, simpan kat dalam tabung.
Good girl.

2009-06-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

Abg and me:
I wna cut bangs.
"Don't, later I can't recognise you."
Why?
"Cause almost all the girls in Singapore have those bangs."

Mummy and me:
Mummy, tumit kasut dier patah.
"Suruh dier go hantar kasut tu gi gobble ler."
Gobble aper? Makan?
"Alaah, gobble kau tak tau gobble aper? Yang repair repair kasut tu lah."
Gobble? Oh, cobbler!
"Aaah, cobbler. Alah, sama lah tu, gobble dgn cobbler."

Anyway, I wanted Creative Zen X-Fi. I got it. But, Mummy and I had an agreement. If I want a camera, I must collect my own money to buy it. If I want an MP3 and camera, I hafta buy Samsung PL10. So how? Take the Zen X-Fi and buy a camera, or collect money for Samsung PL10? Hmmm.

2009-06-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

WTF?!
I'm fucking pissed off.

I don't mock people who buy dresses at pasar malams/ night markets, because I know it is never a sin to do that. But does that mean shopping at high-end stores is a sin? What's wrong with being materialistic? Fuckers.

2009-06-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

Snap.
This is reality.
If you cannot focus, tell yourself you have to. It's only for this period that you have to push yourself to the maximum. You cannot afford to waste the time you have now.
If you cannot focus, remind yourself of what the future holds for you. Then, you will be enlightened, and will want to work hard.
Do this for the sake of me, and us.
Love, Abang.

2009-06-07T05:20:00.000-07:00

Haha, ni Liyana ajar aku blog gini macam eh.

Was from rewang this evening, I looked like some Minah tak mandi when heading home. I was hoping I won't meet anyone I know. AND THEN, he appeared right there and then. I looked down, but he approached me. Paiseh nak mampus sial.

Hahaha.

Liyana, make sure aku pass aku nyer MINAH-BLOG TEST with flying colours otey?
Fine, I know it doesn't sound Minah enough.

2009-06-05T04:25:00.000-07:00

No. 1: Aper masalah awak?

No. 2: Tak happy bebual face to face ar, tk payah nak gi mengumpat kat blog.

No. 3: Lelaki dayus ajer lah pukol perempuan.

No. 4: Maner maruah kau sial?

No. 5: Kau pikir org tua bodoh sgt per?

No. 6: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS LAH SIAL.

Terima kasih abang.

2009-06-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

No, I ~~understand~~.

I want to be able to enjoy my life, and at this age, enjoying life equates to:
1 Having the freedom to go wherever I want and do whatever I want - check.
2 Having money to feed the increasing demand on wanting to look good - check.
3 Having all the latest and most IN things - check.

I have failed to see how fortunate I am. When a friend comments that I am rich, I opposed. I feel that it is unfair for one to judge just by the looking at the surface of things, although judging a book by it's cover is purely human nature.

I've always said I wanted to do well for O Levels, I want to get into fill in the blank and then enter University. Whatever it is, I want to be a doctor. But I failed to see that speaking without doing is futile. Action speaks louder than words.

Whenever I quarreled with anyone in the house, they would always say that I should be grateful for getting stuffs others do not get. Of course I would retaliate, replying that I didn't ask for those stuffs. Again, I failed to realise why my parents and brothers pampered me so much and lavished me with things other people do not get.

Why hasn't it occurred to me earlier?

Yes, I understand.

2009-06-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

(--,)

2009-06-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

Black And Gold - Sam Sparro

First was the DVD Player, then the mattress, and now, Vierra.
Greaaaaat =.=""
Kiter OKB per?
Macam paham.

Someone invited me to சிங்கப்பூர் விலங்குக் காட்சிச்சாலை.
Hehehe.

2009-05-31T04:32:00.000-07:00

I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS.

2009-05-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Initially, our plans for today were supposed to be cancelled. But when there are two stressed ladies stuck at home, they can't stay home. We (read: Mummy and myself) had no mood to go shopping, not until we had THE ULTIMATE let-your-emotions-&-problems-out session together. Thereafter, we headed to Bugis for the fun part. Shopped like nobody's business and it was over $300, mind you. Haha, so I discovered a few facts while shopping:

1. Always abide by the traffic rules, especially on busy roads. Do not cross when the green man is blinking, cause it might turn red before you even reach the middle of the road. That happened to us by the way, so we were stranded at the road divider. So, biler dah malu, kiter try tangkap maintain uh. Tu pun tak menjadi. That was one of my embarrasing moments with Mummy.

2. Oh, did I tell you, I gained a lot of weight?

3. Okay fine, point no. 2 was absolutely unnecessary but I just realised that I'm wearing clothes one size bigger than usual. Right, I know what you guys are thinking: "You're growing lah dammit."

4. There's a store, a mini one, which sells uber cool vintage bags at Haji Lane(but it keeps moving :( )! I wanted to get one for myself but decided I have way too many bags. Besides, I'm still eyeing on that Chanel bag.

5. My Mummy doesn't like girls who wears shorts. So I shan't :)

Anyhoot, to round up today's post, Mum agreed to my Canon plan :D
Amaciam, pandai tak aku?

2009-05-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

Aishah is a pampered girl.
She gets whatever she wants and asks for.
However, she won't get them, unless she do what's told.
She got her desired MP3 when she did well for EOYs in 2007.
And she received her handphone (with line okay!) last year after MYEs.
No, don't roll your eyes, else they'll roll out.
Kk, lame, I know.
But my point is.. I want this.

I will work my ass off for this.
And I don't care if I look selekeh like the Auntie who sells Nasi Ayam at the foodcourt,
or maybe uglier, for the next few months.
Because I want to save every cent I can for this cinta pandang pertama.

Anyway, a looooooooooooot of people (way too many actually), "confess" or rather, claims that they love DSLRs. When asked what DSLR stands for, they don't know.
Paradox.

2009-05-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

Mummy bought me a new mattress, and I am so egg-cited! Haha! Now, I can sleep in peace/ My previous mattress feels as if it's spring-less. When I wake up, my back hurts so much, it feels as if I slept on the floor.

Another thing I'm gna be egg-cited about: Going JB this Saturday till late :D

And I got a new dress! My wardrobe's expanding to the maximum manszx! Why am I so happy eh?

Kepada awak;
Tolonglah. Awak sungguh the whatever, saya cukup menyampah. Mengapa awak perasan sahaja lebih? Saya rasa awak patut sedar diri dahulu sebelum menuduh saya. Hai, sangat menyedihkan. Bak kata pepatah, mengata dulang paku serpih, mengata orang awak yang lebih. Okay awak? Awak tahukan siapa awak? KNNCB.

2009-05-24T04:33:00.000-07:00

My weekend smelt good.
ROFL.

Out with the cousins - spells fun.

I need a digi camera now.
A fool lost the camera lens cap. Not the first time you lost something important.
I won't be surprised if you forgot to wear your undies next time.

2009-05-21T03:47:00.000-07:00

Ayam tidur senang di dalam reban,
musang yang susah beredar sekeliling.

2009-05-13T07:05:00.001-07:00

I hope Allison wins the ANTM(read: America's Next Top Model) Cycle 12 title. I like her a lot, despite the fact that she has a fetish for blood and nose bleed. Weird, I know.

I hate being surrounded by people who are ungracious. Being around them makes me ashamed of my community, and because of these kind of people too our community often gets looked down on. I believe that not all are to be blamed, only a minority. But it's as if they have speech impediment. Do you have to end each sentence with a curse? Eh, sibeh fun sia cibai. And it didn't stop there. Such an embarrassment, that I just had to ignore and listen to my MP3, which was obviously in vain since they were talking so loudly as if they owned the bus. Or maybe my earpiece was lousy. Just not my luck to be seated so near to them.

So anyway, apart from the ghastly encounter with rude people, I have been struggling to keep up with school. Again, time flies so fast that now is MAY, and in two weeks time, it'll be JUNE. The thought of the nearing O Levels is ~~slowly~~ daunting me. I don't even have ample time to complete my homework, which is also a result of procrastinating coupled with the frequent outings and malas-ism. How to revise like this?

I just can't wait for O Levels to be over. All this stress is killing me slowly. And I know I'm not alone.

2009-05-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

Dua Jiwa - Dakmie

For you and for me.
Should I be happy?
Thanks Izzam for introducing the song.
I like it a lot.
Can we go now?
Hah, you get what I mean.

2009-05-07T01:38:00.000-07:00

It's not okay.
Nothing is okay.
I believe it won't be okay.
So don't ask if everything is okay.

Before anyone thinks there's something wrong with me, I should stop talking to myself. I left my handphone in the refrigerator, I shampoo-ed my hair twice while showering this morning and burnt my breakfast.

So you like me this way HUH?

2009-05-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

I'm going through the hardest time of my life.

Yesterday was the worst night ever. I'm still depressed about yesterday, and the only reason why I'm blogging right now is to de-stress.

It feels like fucking shit when you're the reason why your parents quarrel. But let me tell you what's worst: your mother saying she regretted not leaving you. I knew it, I just wanted to hear it from herself. I wonder why parents and children quarrel. I know these quarrels don't happen all the time to you people, but it has been getting frequent for me. I have never chosen for it to be this way, but she said I asked for it. I don't think I know why my Mum and I always quarrel, she thinks I don't understand her, and I think she doesn't understand me. I've always tried my best to please her, but I don't think I'll ever succeed. I learnt from a HML Comprehension passage that parents always have high expectations of their children, and their expectations would continue even after their children grow up. I'm having a really bad headache while typing this out. I need a break, or maybe I don't, I'll just have to concentrate on school and these problems will go away. At least, I hope they will. I'm raised in a family where they are strict towards girls, or in my case, towards me. My brother(s) and mother care so much for me, because they love me. (shit, why the hell am i crying while typing this out?) Anyway, the reason why I didn't include my father was because he trusted me and part of him was too tired from working to be bothered about me. I know I should be thankful for having the best parents and brothers in the world but I am still wondering why I can't seem to please my Mum. Am I that stupid and dumb that she would ultimately give up on me? I know I'm such a pampered girl since I'm the youngest and the only girl. My brothers are jealous of me because I get what I want most of the time. I am jealous of my brother because he is a good boy and my mother listens to him. I sound unreasonable, but why can't I be like him? But I still don't understand why I always quarrel with my mother. I love my mother very much but that wouldn't suffice. People say when you quarrel with someone, it makes the band grow stronger. But I don't feel that way. I know she will hate me. I know she will hate me for wasting her life. She will hate me for making her promise not to leave me. She will hate me for making her life a chore. She is the reason why I wanted to get into university. The reason why I wanted to be a doctor. When I was a kid, I told her I would cure her if she gets sick. I will do whatever it takes so that she won't die and we can live forever. But I still don't know why we quarrel. It could be the generation gap and the fact that she doesn't go through what I go through. That's why she thinks I am capable of doing everything so well. Don't ask me why I rarely confide in her, cause the answer's there already. She thinks differently from me.

Right now, the only thing I want to do is leave.

2009-05-04T02:35:00.000-07:00

Mummy's gna kill me when she finds out:
1 I went for a haircut without her permission.
2 Made a huge stain on the wall.
3 I wasted so many films.
4 Don't have enough to top up my handphone bill.
5 Ate all the chocolate donuts.

Sorry, I sinned.

2009-05-02T06:35:00.001-07:00

I'm fucking pissed.

2009-05-02T02:38:00.000-07:00

Young Folks - Peter Bjorn And John

Waaah, the two lovebirds still not home yet leh. Haha, who else, my parents lah. Apparently, they went JB, and I wasn't allowed to go. And all of us went shopping this morning. Yay, I can now boast my new radio set, and the stereos aren't that bad either.

I've been spending too much lately, tell me I need to save money. Anyway, yesterday was gerek. Went Mustafa Centre with Humster in search of her headphones (which she ultimately bought at Causeway Point btw). I felt good after the whole outing, a good way to start my holiday, early weekend and the month of May.

And did I tell you I got a new bag? I love x93284 it!

Wna continue doing my homework, so take care and enjoy your weekend people!

2009-04-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

Because the grades won't be reflected in my report book, I couldn't be bothered about trying my best for my Higher Malay MYE. I just did it for the sake of doing it. Huh, with this attitude I have, I doubt I would score well for my O's.

Dad's eating durians, despite the fact that he's having a fever. I wouldn't even have the appetite to eat when I'm sick.

I'm not used to sleeping really really late every night, but I think I'll be turning nocturnal soon. It was only yesterday that I had the 8 hours of sleep.

Many people were concerned about how I look different now and that I've gained a lot of weight since the beginning of the year. To a certain extent, I think they're exaggerating. No, don't fret cause I am not out of my mind (just yet) and I won't turn anorexic or bulimic. But seriously, my stress which leads to over-eating will surely affect my health sooner or later. Let's see.

2009-04-27T04:37:00.000-07:00

Through The Monsoon - Tokio Hotel
Current favourite.

It is very much evident as to how you choose friends. You choose people who are pretty, is dating someone and popular. I'm not jealous, just humiliated at how you can just push me to one side. I'm tired of entertaining people like you, or should I say, I'm tired of entertaining you since you're the only "friend" that treats me like that. So yeah, you deserve the treatment you're getting. As a matter of fact, you run to me when your other good friends can't help you. Sad, very sad. I really regretted defending you when my Mummy said that you're not worth being my friend cause you're such a bitch.

2009-04-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

It's the weekends! Yay! Haha, I love weekends so much. Well, who doesn't, right?

Anyway, I need a new bag. If you're pretending you didn't read it, I'll just say it again.
I need and I want a new bag.
*hinthint*

The Aliff Aziz song I heard from Natasha's handphone is stuck in my head. Sheesh.

2009-04-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Urgh, I just hate this.

FOCUS man, focus.
I want it really bad, I will do whatever it takes to get it.

The difference between the possible and impossible, lies in a person's determination. I know you can do it, you just need to stretch yourself. I have faith in you.

The words did sink in, and I absorbed every single thing. I won't let you down, promise.

2009-04-20T06:32:00.001-07:00

Sexation.
I love my weekends, they're just so perfect.
Be jealous.

2009-04-15T03:33:00.000-07:00

Menghapus Jejakmu - Peterpan

It's really a sad sight how we humans tend to get too comfortable with each other and cross the line when we're too close to each other.
I don't regret taking that decision.
Now, the only thing I hafta do is focus, just focus, and really focus.

Thanks for getting me to think it through, and not make the wrong decision. Maybe I really am pampered after all.

Today is productive!

2009-04-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

Homecoming - Hey Monday

I'm smiling like one stupid Y-I-D-D-I-O-T now.

For the first time ever, I did not procrastinate. I've finished doing all my homework. No, don't laugh, cause I'm not lying. The initial plan was to go to the beach with my family. Unfortunately, it rained. So I was stuck at home. And I did my homework :D The sense of satisfaction of completing my homework and having the weekends to spend is indeed overwhelming.

Since someone has been constantly pestering me to change my blogskin, I did. It appears to me that none of the blogskins suit my taste, so I coded my template from scratch, with a teeny weeny help here and there and VOILA! Nice right my blogskin! So to that someone, no more complains okay!

Huahua. See despite the fact that today was stuck at home day, it was still productive :D

Okay actually it's supposed to be yesterday, since now is already 12:41am, which makes today 11 April. Oh whatever.

2009-04-06T05:49:00.000-07:00

No, don't ask me what's up with the new song.
I'm still depressed over the fact that I don't have a camera,
and that someone used my Polaroid without asking. *rolls eyes*
Nasib baik lah aku ni baik tau.

Of late, the people around me have been pretty much depressed
and feel very PMS-y.
Dengan aku pun ikut-ikut emo eh.

I've been having frequent conversations with Bro.
It is very awkward for me to talk to him, especially when
I find him irritating and likewise for him.
But really, we get along well. Haha, I feel awkward saying this.

He says I've got no life man, everyday stay at home.
What to do, nak banggakan korang jugak kan?
I just love you.

2009-04-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

ZOMG.
My 2nd Bro and Mummy were eating Thosai (from my neighbours!) and Mummy said something that made me really shocked. I wasn't eavesdropping, so I didn't know what they were talking about initially, but Mummy said "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

2nd Bro and me were like WOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHH! It sounded funny because of her thick Malay accent and she wasn't used to speaking English. When asked how she learnt the phrase, she said she picked it from one of my books. Haha, cute lah my mother.

Anyway,

1: Besides your lips , where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
Forehead.

2: How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
Happy. Gna miss lessons since it's SYF.

3: Who was the last person you took a photo with?
Bella Teo.

4: Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
To a certain extend. I know many would disagree, because I'm the youngest and the only girl. So, whatever.

5: Would you ever donate blood?
Yes, unless I've a disease that can be spread through transfer of blood.

6: Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yes.

7: Do you want someone dead?
No. Never will, or maybe not yet.

8:What does your last text message say?
"I need sleep." which was 2 months ago. Whatever, I know.

9:What are you thinking of right now?
Figuring out a way on how to avoid distractions.

10: Do you wish someone was with you right now?
No. The people I love are around me.

11: What time did you go to sleep last night?
2am.

12:Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
Dorothy Perkins.

13: Is someone on your mind right now?
No, something is.

14: Who was the last person to text you?
Syafiqo.

10 PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUIZ (in random order) :

1. Nadeeah.
2. Humairah.
3. Mysara.
4. Dwi.
5. Syuhayedah.
6. Hakim.
7. Sufiliyana.
8. Azura.
9. Hawa.
10. Syafiqo.

15: Who is 2 having a relationship with?
I wonder who. :P No I didn't say she has a r'ship.

16: Is 3 a male or a female?
Female.

17: If 7 and 10 get together will that be a good thing?
Heck no. Syafiqo's girlf will chase Sufiliyana manszx.

18: What is Number 1 studying about?
Pure Bio, Combined Phy/ Chem, E Maths, Combined Geog/ SS and basic Languages.

20: Is Number 4 single?
Single AND available.

21: Say something about Number 2.
She looks prettier with braces. Jangan kembang eh.

22: What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together?
Haha, sajak pun. Both pendek and cute. Sorry Mysara!

23: Describe Number 9.
Ultimate randomness. And check out her laughter.

24: What will you do if Number 6 and 7 fight?
Cannot imagine. Really cannot one leh.

25: Do you like Number 1?
A lot. Haha, she's nice to talk to.

2009-03-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

I try to understand you, but do you understand me?

Anyway, just a little note to that somebody there:
When I see you, I can't help but to laugh. No, I'm not trying to be rude, neither am I laughing about your funny hair. I think I laughed because I'm reminded of how life used to be when we were together. Haha, no doubts they were one of my sweetest memories. So please, don't assume or worst still, accuse me of not being friendly! Heh.

2009-03-23T02:49:00.000-07:00

It was bloody damn difficult to part with my dear camera. But I had to do it. So today, I had reluctantly gave away my camera. This had definitely been planned on her side.

I feel very sad because I've just lost something I love very dearly.

Nothing for you, only "thank you".

2009-03-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

I didn't sign out from my MSN account yesterday.
When I signed in again today, my personal message read:
We love you Icha.. From Abg Long and Abg Jan..

I don't know how to feel right now.
Or maybe too guilty.
They just make me feel stupid and ignorant.
Which I think I am, cause I get carried away too easily,
failing to realise that O Levels are nearing.

I hate this feeling.

2009-03-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

Finally, I deleted my Friendster account.
It's been collecting dust and I can't be bothered to update it.

I like peaceful environments and spending my time alone. Doesn't matter if it's productive or not. It does sound a little bit anti-social, but who cares? So, when I need time alone, I don't stay at home because it won't be peaceful.

I won't take bus rides cause I get motion sickness easily. I won't go to the ECP cause I'd definitely meet people I know. So usually I'd end up at Haji Lane. You always get to see a lot of things, though what you see might just be a normal scene, repeated everywhere in the world a billion times a day. I normally won't be able to get my work done but at least my mind would be at ease.

I like peacefulness of Haji Lane, it helps me feel connected and isolated both at the same time. When I'm alone, I tend to notice and judge things more intently. I watched the way people dress. Watched weird people head to the club. Watched girls who had once been boys totter south. Watched taxis flow in and out of the lane. Watched illegal kids sheesha-ing. Watch people spraying their graffitti on the walls.

Well, that's what I like. What do I not like? I don't like it when people take advantage of me. Just because you know me, doesn't mean you can use my stuff without asking, or when you borrow something, you return it in a poor condition. The very least you can do is apologise. If you don't even bother to do so, then you've left a very bad impression of how I think about you.

My mother says I am very unpredictable, and random too.
Now I can't deny that.

I want to delete this post because it's so useless.
But I just typed a long post, so I guess, be it.

2009-03-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

Got a modelling offer from Wawa for her project.
Thanks to her, I trimmed my hair.
I don't like. Very mod, too edgy.

I want to shoot people now.

2009-03-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

Storm, hospital, cute doctor, falling trees, hero machine, accident, jikan, sheesHA, insomnia, long bus rides, camaraderie, films, monday blues, hopeless, spoilt air-con, flying periuks, closest encounter to death, airport, 2nd heart attack, crazy cousins, ICU, Ruzana.

Mummy, I love you the way you are.

2009-03-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

This marks the end of your signature project. This is what I shared with them who came.. All of you are stars and we may not be the shinest star among all of YLC but we all play our part.
- Jarain Ng

Time to enjoy, but I will definitely miss YLC7.
Today is the last day of term 1. Yeay to holidays. Boo to the upcoming Focus Study :(

2009-03-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

Some ANNOYING BUGGER ate my Ruffles without asking me, and had no courtesy to dispose it after emptying it. F you.

2009-03-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

I feel the urge to blog. But I don't know what to blog about. Let's just summarise everything.

1. I'm done with all the Panelists Trainings! *grins* But it's not over yet. Still got Panelists meeting y'know.

2. I need to cut down on food. Got scolded for the unstable blood pressure by Doctor. I've been experiencing frequent breathing problems. He warned me if I don't improve, I'll have to use the fill in the blank, and that scared the shit out of me.

3. My Saturday was like a roller coaster, filled with tears and laughters. Thanks to Nat and Hum. Thought Campus ChangeMaker was gonna bore me to death but I ended up enjoying myself, especially since TimWeiLoke was there! Haha, so much for Piontanak eh Lokee.

4. I can't believe you did it again, despite the fact that I just helped you the other time it happened. Maybe it is true after all; it doesn't pay to be nice.

5. HS called me Ze Unfathomable. I wna roll my eyes at that girl lah. Even HS cannot angkszx with her attitude y'know.

6. I wanna go for a haircut :] That means it's the 198364014th since 1st Jan 09. Sheesh Aishah!

7. Let's go to sleep now. Wait, you go to sleep, and I'll do my homework. Bye!

2009-03-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

Superman - Five For Fighting

Hey look here.

When I think of you, I can't stop smiling. When I think about the times we had together, I can't stop smiling. I don't know why and don't ask me why I can't stop smiling. I just can't. You make me feel special, a lil bit too special that I can't stop smiling. And yes, continue to make me smile.

2009-03-04T05:02:00.001-08:00

Haha, this is friggin' cute and hilarious!

COOKIE BABY :]

FIRE TRUCK BABY!

2009-03-02T02:42:00.000-08:00

3 more to go.

Too much disinclination. Time flies too fast lately, or so I thought. I'm enervated and mentally exhausted. My weekend was much of a waste, inefficacious other than the Saturday morning at Lorong Chuan and with YLC7. And because of that too I missed 3 hours of Biology.

I witnessed an underprivileged lady cry when she received our bag of donations. I was deeply moved. At that instance, I cried when she related to us the story of her life. I was beholden for what I have and adamant to achieve the best for my parents. I just don't want that happening to my parents.

Don't listen to them, only listen to your heart.
Be languid to the unnecessary.
Because I know you can do it.

Ibarat bunga dedap, sungguh merah berbau tidak.

[EDIT/]
Egg-cited; I got my Polaroid, but now in a quandary, torn apart between a Canon EOS or the new Polaroid. Why must he make me choose? Which one?!
[/EDIT]

2009-02-27T07:47:00.000-08:00

I don't need you cause you're not a friend, but just someone who wants to know everything.
I don't need attention and favouritism cause my family provides me more than enough.
I don't need what you need to be happy.
The only thing I need now is

SPACE

to breathe because you are suffocating me.
Let me, allow me, hear me, watch me express it all out.
If the volcano erupts, people suffer. Don't let that happen.

2009-02-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

Because when the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend

2009-02-22T03:40:00.000-08:00

Laskar Pelangi - Nidji

Thanks to Natasha, I'm addicted to this song. This is definitely one of the Malay songs that is not cheesy. Listen to the lyrics :D

Yesterday's Packing Day equates to blithe. I freaked out when my IC was absent, and I had to take over her. So much for being the 2IC eh. Anyway, after briefing the YLC7 and YA, as well as the Woodlands Sec volunteers, everyone started working. It was really exhausting, and by the time it was around 12pm, everyone was about to give up.

Finally, we ended work cause there weren't enough bags. The volunteers left and we had lunch. But unfortunately, the YA were not happy with our work, cause the bags were half full, so we took out everything, rearranged them and filled in more items. Though there are 300 bags already, there was still A LOT of food items that hasn't been packed yet. So we donated the extras to SunLove for their future events.

While repacking the bags, Lisa, Naz and me were joking about the extra rice that we had, it must have been about more than 300kg of rice. And Naz was saying, beras ni boleh buat kenduri kahwin seh. Kalau masak bubur, boleh tahan 20 tahun seh! Haha, it was hilarious. It was a good feeling to see all the YLC7 back in action, and I missed them a lot. We talked a lot too, about what's going in life and etc. After next week's event, I'll miss them a lot :[

Now is 2009, can you believe it?
I cannot believe I'm Secondary 4 student.
I cannot believe I'll be sitting for my O Levels in November.
I cannot believe now is already February.
I cannot believe I'm leaving Riverside at the end of the year.
I REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

I want to work hard. I want to score high.
And I will do just that, because when I get my results,
I will cry. I will cry because victory is in my hands.
With my family, girlfriends and Yoshi with me, nothing is impossible.

2009-02-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

A random picture: SPH Photoshoot with VP2 Mr Chen.

Look at Azura and I: Promoting DARLIE keperrrr? Gigi tak bleh angkats.

There's so many filming and/or photoshoot these days, I bet I'll be famous soon.

Haha, Aishah exaggerating to the maximum seh.

If only there is such thing as a brain charger..

As much as I'd like to enjoy my life to the fullest, there would surely be setbacks to stop me from achieving that. I think I've got to work on my sentence structure, cause when I speak the words are so tunggang-terbalik.

My revision time has also been cut down, despite the fact that Common Tests are just next week. I'm really tired, partly because of the amount of workload which includes endless homeworks, research and proposals. I'm only looking forward to the end of my YLC 7 Project, cause that would be a burden less by then.

Doctor said that I eat alot, though it does not affect my weight, it may cause other consequences, what more with my current condition. I don't mind being fat, seriously, because I don't see how putting on weight can affect my health.

I was reminded of my primary school days when I stumbled upon an ex-classmate from my primary school. Haha, how naive I was, believing in crushes and BFFs.

I'm trying to limit my expenditure, to stop all the naggings and whatnots. At the same, I try to minimise the conversation at home. It doesn't help at all talking. If I talk, I might just end up.. Nevermind, I guess I'll just leave it there for you readers to complete the sentence.

2009-02-16T01:45:00.001-08:00

I have no choice because you leave me with no options.

I want this to be the last time that it would ever happen. It's very cold here. Where had love gone to? Where was the smile? Where was the person whom I used to confide in go to? Where? I changed because you don't understand me. You changed because you gave up on me. Both, ends with me. Because me is the problem. Now, the house if filled with silence. The laughters and cries hid in our memories.

There's nothing, just.. nothing.

Wait. Waiting. Waited. How long more? 3 seconds, 3 minutes, 3 months or 3 years? Till I die of depression? You asked me, but you decided it.

You scream, I shut up. I speak, you shushed me. Where is the justice? Nowhere near you. I defend, you deny. You deny, I defend. I lose, you win. I always lose because you must win. This is not a battle, not a war. But why must it go to such extent? Why? Because I'm not you, and you're not me. That's why there's so much differences. That's why we don't think similarly.

I tried, you didn't. Egoism. You tried, I didn't. Again, egoism. Let's end this. You said no. I'm neutral, that's what you thought about me. That's the root problem: you thought. It was never you knew. Let's wait. Part of me, says no, the other says, go on. Torn apart between the choice, I refused. No use regretting to say this, cause I hope it did happen, then it wouldn't have repeated all over again. It was close, very close.

But you ended the chapter, with a sacrifice. Now, you betrayed my trust.

Like talking to a wall, my questions have no answers.

2009-02-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

Firstly,
Baby, please be mine tonight..

Haha! *screams* Yesssss, I'm gonna get POLAROID BUSINESS EDITION II! *kening naik-naik* I swear I can jump till I reach the ceiling when brother told me he's gonna get me a Polaroid laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Alamak, exaggerating ah Aishah, stop it sehh. But nevermind, I see you people rolling your eyes already, jealous kan kan kan? Hehe. It's expensive you know. Take a look at this:

1. Polaroid - $90

2. Album - $30

3. Film - $30 for 10 pieces (WTH LAH KAN?!)

4. Bag - $35

TOTAL - $185 (SO EXPENSIVE MAN!)

(Bragging in progress!) ZOMG, I BETTER STUDY HARD FOR MY O LEVELS LAH KAN, kalau tak I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life. Hehe, mark my words brother. I, Siti Nur Aishah, shan't disappoint you :D

Anyway,
HAPPY V♥LENTINE'S DAY :D

Early in the morning already I got scolded for being late :[ Had a date with Ms Tan, my Physics teacher. Haha! Abeh dah lambat, rambut tak bleh angkszxszx keper seh!

For the rest of the day, had the last minute ultimate plan with zee girls. It was fun, what with the filling meals, the bitchings, the camwhoring & lepaking, and not forgetting SNAAAP! Sadly Hum's camera died when we were about to play Snap.

Walked home with Hum and bid goodbye to Nat. Shall post pics as soon as I get 'em from Humster.

Iamverytemptedtosplurge$$onstuffs, myhandsareitchingtogetthosestuffs. Butlatermy$$kaching$$finishhow? AHHH, brotherIneedmore$$hehehehee.

2009-02-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

Was it just deja vu? Or did it happen before?

I am a person who would stand for my rights, if I am not in the wrong. Because I don't want to be blamed for something I did not do.

Of late, I get pissed off really easily. Especially to people who so inconsiderate, that don't deserve to live in this world.

Probably I should just focus on one thing. There is so much for me to say, yet so little time and space. What to do, nobody listens. It's not what I choose.

Maybe I should make myself a bowl of Maggi instant noodles and think about it again before deciding.

What I said was right after all, bukankah begitu?

I was still in a daze, and I thought whatever happened was a dream, not until I witnessed her crying. Heart breaks, I feel for you.

Do you know, everytime you raise your voice to your mother, her heart swells? She may scold you, but have you thought of how she feels when you don't listen to her? She cries every night, hoping you would change for the better.

Today is Wednesday, tomorrow is Thursday, back to school.

Unnecessary Information: Each paragraph is not linked to each other.

2009-02-04T04:37:00.000-08:00

Truth is, I'm still not over you, just yet. I know you don't care, but if I don't tell you now, I'd regret.

As tagged by Mardhiah!

Directions: Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. I must eat Lays / Ruffles at least once a week. Or I will be deprived potato chips.

2. I rely greatly on the World Wide Web aka INTERNET.

3. I love Additional Mathematics!

4. I want to gain at least 4 kg in 5 months.

5. I am a CHEESE FRIES freak. I can eat it everyday, without getting tired of it.

6. I am attached.. NOT! Haha!

7. My room is pink.

8. I don't like Aliff Aziz, not a single bit. And I don't understand why girls scream their heads off when they see him. Okay, maybe not all girls, but yeah.

9. I have Yoshi's new pen: THE MOST COLOURFUL PEN IN PILOT G2 HISTORY! Nice tau!

10. I am materialistic, to a certain extent.

11. I have a few nicknames at home: Icah, Aisah, and Esah.

12. I abhore biased people, and those who are so prejudiced.

13. I prefer PUMA to ADIDAS, because it's more flexible.

14. I miss my 2008 Form Teacher, Mdm Jo-Anne Mathews.

15. I just ate Maggi instant noodles, curry flavoured with chilli sauce. Sedap tau tak!

16. I can survive without sleeping for 2 days, not even a few minutes.

TAGS:

1. Humairah - Sebab kau ahli mesyuarat tergempar aku. And it's really amazing how one can dream with the eyes open! Ni mesti ader udang di sebalik spaghetti kan kan kan?

2. Syuhayedah - Because I miss you lah siolszxszxszx!

3. Shahari - Cause you are gay, and selalu mintak aku homework ;P

4. Azura - Sebab awak perlu berusaha dan jgn putus asa utk lulus bahasa melayu! And I dare you to this tag thing, in malay, everything, can? Haha, tak nak takper..

5. Furraa - I haven't heard you for quite a long time ;]

6. Mysara - Because you are so sweet manszxszx! Haha!

7. To the other 10 people left that I am supposed to tag, they will be those who has a vowel in their names. Haha, pandai aper Aishah?

LOL! I spent like 17 minutes doing this tagging thingy. Okay, I wanna go makan now, so toodles.

2009-01-31T04:29:00.000-08:00

Mummy, I have 3 things for you:
1. I like you.
2. I love you.
3. I LOVE YOU MOST!

Every tear that blossoms in your eyes, tears me apart. I yearn to see the smile in your face again. I know I've done injustice to you, not once, neither twice. I wonder how you can be so patient, with me, and my brothers. The 9 months that you carried me, the pain of giving birth, the life that you gave me, the love that you spread, the care that you provided, the nights that you stayed up when I was sick, and the other sacrifices you made, can never be repaid with money, no matter how big the number is. I don't want to wait until Mothers' Day or be too late to say this to you: Mummy, I love you, and I'm sorry for everything I've done. Sometimes, I take you for granted. Sometimes, I raise my voice at you. I know you get hurt, though you don't show it. But I know. Mum, I just love you, and I love you more than anyone else in this world does. You are, and have always been the strongest woman ever. Again, I LOVE YOU.

I know, you readers must be thinking, why the heck did Siti Nur Aishah B. Ahmad blogged about her Mummy, when she won't read it? Show off keper? Firstly, my Mummy will read it. Secondly, I want to remind myself to be a good daughter, to love my Mummy more and listen to her always.

Haha, sucha random post :]

Of late, I indulge myself in too much of:
1. Food
2. Internet
3. Impulsive buys

Point no. 3 sungguh perlu STOP man! Haha, rabaknye bahasa aku! You know you know! Yesterday kan, I go Arab St and Haji Lane with my mother. She buy me a lot of stuffs you know! Don't be jealous okay! Haha, my Mum sounds like that when she speaks English, very the cute tau! The unexpected outing with Mummy turned out to be a fun one. I forced her to buy a new handbag that she has been eyeing for lately. Besides, her old one is too tattered. And I paid for it! Hehe, it feels good buying something for Mummy. As children, we must always treasure our parents. Chey! But true aper!

Anyhoot, I brought Mummy to Loft and she was surprised that shops existed at the Level 2 of the shophouses along Haji Lane! I bought a high-waist skirt for myself ^.^ v

And yeah, I love Mummy!

2009-01-29T16:15:00.000-08:00

I was in a good mood today. I WAS. Not until you spoilt it. Fucker.
First, look lah. Then stare. Next roll your eyes. You think I give a shit about that? You think just by rolling your eyes, I'll be OH-SO-SCARED of you? FAT HOPE LAH. Totally spoilt my day. If you cannot talk nicely to me, then don't need to talk to me lah. In the first place, why you talk to me?

Diam ah kau, kepala senget.
Menyakitkan hati betul. Buat darah up aje tau.
Kasi muka, naik kepala.

2009-01-27T19:35:00.000-08:00

Sobs. I think I can put my wishlist, especially the Adidas High-cut sneakers, into the rubbish bin. Throw far far far away. I haven't even give Mummy a solution to pay up for my 3-digit bill lah. My daily expenses, including food expenses have been severely cut down. AAAAAAH! No more cheese fries or ice-cream after Higher Mother Tongue?! *shakes head* Sad, very sad. And I miss my phone :( But who says I can't live without it? It's been 4 days since it was last with me, and look, I'M STILL ALIVE! Haha, crap lah Aishah.

I should say my holidays were well spent. Of course, with my cousin around, I can bitch like nobody's business. One thing about her, she loves to giggle. Sounds creepy, I know. But more of hilarious at times. Last night, we got friggin' hungry, so we decided to eat instant noodles, at 2am in the morning. Orang curi barang, kita curi makan! Then went friendster and blog-hopping, bitching here and there about everything we can ever think of. At one point of time, cousin said, "Aku menyampah dengan orang yang step cute, abeh biler ambik gambar, senyum syiok sendiri. Berdiri bulu roma aku, tau tak?" Haha, sooo funny! Anyhoot, it's fun to have girls talk, like we did last night. From ex-s to minah tak menjadi and yada yada yada. And I'm such a loser when it comes to watching horror movies. Watched The Coffin and Dead Silence again. No, of course I didn't scream. Only because I closed my eyes. PENGECUT KANNN! Haha, I know.

Oh no! I've got a pimple :(
And why does it always appear at the same places?

&& who says I am jealous cause I wasn't featured? You know what? Those are just bullshitooszxszx, ader understand? Just because you are featured, it doesn't mean you can be famous instantaneouly aper? OMG, hancur English aku :/

2009-01-26T14:13:00.000-08:00

DROOOOLS.. SO NICEEEEE! I WAAAAANNNNTTTTT!
So, should I buy? Or should I not? Dilemma man.
Mummy, I need more hi-cut sneakers please!

It's ADIDAS by the way. I'm not sure about this, but I think I've become such a materialistic girl. I know, many have rolled their eyes whenever I talk about this, but the only reason I detest imitations are because of their poor quality of products. I don't understand why some people can go bitching behind my back about how materialistic I am. Stop it man. It's not as if I wear ADIDAS from head to toe right?

Anyway, good news! I'M GONNA GET MY BROTHER'S LAPTOP!
YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!
I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE!
No more bulky Compaq Presario, and YAY to Dell!
Just hope he doesn't change his mind, or my hopes will be crushed into pieces :]

2009-01-25T03:02:00.000-08:00

I feel very happy :]
I love everyday!
It seems like Lady Luck has finally decided to be on my side.

Apparently, everytime Zailan chats with me on MSN, I'll sleep halfway through the conversation. OOPS! Haha, it's not that you're boring lah Zailan, just that maybe I'd be too tired already. And wth? He calls me Sleeping Beauty because I always fall asleep, thus leaving him to wait for my reply. ROFL!

Cousin Noni is here for sleepover! And this calls for... MOVIE MARATHON! YAY! I love, I love, I LOVE! And she keeps laughing at me, cause my handphone got confiscated! So bad, she calls me handphone-less.

Hehe. Okay now, I'm off to do some DIY stuffs. It is so fun doing DIYs, especially when it is for someone special! ;P

2009-01-23T06:43:00.001-08:00

Aishah is a very fickle-minded girl, but very crazy.
You should see how she looks like when she is studying.
Like a predator eyeing its prey.
She doesn't care about what people talk about her.
She prefers to be called as Icah, which is what I call her, though many calls her Ais, or Siti.
Her bill shot up to $109 this month. It was SUPPOSED to be at least $30.
But because she smsed too much, especially to me, it was that high.
Now I cannot sms her anymore :[
I don't know why she doesn't want to link me in her blog.
But she is special :]

Thanks. Sweet of you.

Slacked at the stadium with Hum. She was moaning abt:
1. The hurting braces.
2. The regret over not saying hi to Doctor SP (inside joke!). Though she didn't mention it, I know. Dhivyen also know! Haha, joking only lah Hum!

No wonder I keep having a wave of feelings.
Period.

2009-01-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

Dancing In The Moonlight - Toploader

I want you to sing this to me again ;P
You make me happy :]

I LOVE TODAY, because ahli mesyuarat tergempar was there for me :]
And the guys were gay and, sang too much in class.

I can't be bothered about people who said my hair looks like TARZAN. Haha, what matters is that, I LIKE IT, not you. Cause I AM THE ONE WITH THE HAIRSTYLE. I like my hair very the much cause I was the one who trimmed it! Proud of that one okaay! I know it does look funny when I tie it up. But I can't possibly go to school with a mod hairstyle whaaat.

Okay, that shall be the last time I'll blog about HAIR.

Anyway, I wanna say this: I LOVE ALARIC!
I always love him. The only people I have faith in to support the NE Champs are Alaric, and Priya of course. Quiet he may be, but full of bright ideas. Diam-diam ubi berisi, jgn diam tong kosong tau! (Haha, anyhow only the peribahasa!) And after hearing what happened from Jun Hao, I must really salute Alaric for standing up and supporting the NE Champs. No matter what, I love them all!

Ah, I must be in a spirit of spreading love!

2009-01-21T03:17:00.000-08:00

I can be nice and crazy. I am the happy-go-lucky girl. But things will turn sour, when you take advantage of me. I detest people who uses me. When I am nice, it doesn't mean that you can step on my head. And when I shut up and refuse to talk to you, the more egoist you get. Where is your dignity, BITCH? Sometimes, you talk without you using your effing brain. Where do you put your brain? In your ass? If you do that to me again, I WOULD ASK YOU TO GO GET YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF ME AND GO AND DIE. Get it? You know who you are. It's not that I'm not brave enough to write out your name here, but I just don't want to embarrass you. BULLSHITSZXSZX.

[EDIT]
Of course, of course you don't love me. You're saying it for the sake of wanting to make me feel good. You never cared a single bit. Since the beginning of the year, I NEVER ASKED YOU TO GET ME ANYTHING I WANT. I only asked for my needs. But you didn't see any difference. Did you see any effort that I tried to put in? NO. Because you couldn't be bothered. When I told you my problem, you didn't do anything to help, YOU DID NOT. You didn't even try to understand my situation. You didn't listen to what I have to say. What you only know is that I have to do what YOU WANT ME TO DO. You force me to do everything you want me to do. I WANT TO SUCCEED, BUT I CAN'T WITHOUT YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU? DO YOU? Can't you see what you've done to me? No, you can't. Because you're blinded by your own misfortunes. You keep saying that you're always suffering, facing all these kind of problems, nobody is listening to you. THEN AM I NOT LISTENING TO YOU, WHEN YOU WERE COMPLAINING ALL THIS WHILE? I HELPED YOU AS MUCH AS I COULD, NO MATTER HOW BUSY I AM. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. And you neglected me still. What did the others do? They didn't even help you! Just because I cannot provide you with money, doesn't mean I cannot make you happy! When I called you otp to tell you I got an A1 for my malay, what did you say? WHAT DI YOU EFFING DO?! I wanted to cry, but I held my tears. I've never hated you, NEVER IN MY LIFE WOULD I DO THAT, BUT WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? I SACRIFICED WHATEVER I COULD JUST FOR YOU, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I'VE NEVER CRIED THIS HARD BEFORE, BUT ITS ALL BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD. DON'T DO THIS TO ME PLEASE...
Are you happy now, after making me cry like shitszx for you? I bet you are.
[/EDIT]

2009-01-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

I find myself exceptionally high lately. Even Syarif said, "I wanna be like Aishah, cause she's so happy everyday." Haha, truth is, there's no secret to being happy everyday.

Thanks Adam for Saturday and this video :D
And Ily too a:

2009-01-17T10:33:00.000-08:00

I love my hair now. :]
And I am one happy girl!

Because, love is friendship that has caught fire.It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.
Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future, and it doesn’t brood over the past. It’s the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories and working toward common goals.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.

2009-01-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Cant Hold On - Melee

Haha! On a totally random note, someone said I look like my Mummy, for the first time ever lor. I think it was one of my friends, Humairah or Hawa.

The latter was fathomable. I could finally comprehend why it was so difficult for me to let go. Okay, so it was Physics. Ms Tan was teaching, and blabbering away. Yoshi and I were talking about "hal ehwal negara", when she suddenly shushed Yoshi, and scolded him for talking to me and disturbing me, who was supposedly trying to concentrate on her lesson. Haha, poor him! Biology was a bore today, and Physics was surprisingly enjoyable, although I believe many would beg to differ to this opinion of mine. Whatever it is, I still think what Yoshi told me this afternoon was true, despite the fact that I was endlessly denying it. Apparently, he was the third person to have told me that. Nevermind, I don't wish to dwell on it too much.

I was discussing with Mummy about my future plans, the "after my O Level results" plans and my targets. She was exceptionally enthusiastic about the major discussion, and all my family members were listening intently when I told them my plans. And Mummy sounds really cute when she speaks English, I swear.

Now, I need to go back to my homework. Did I tell you? I love doing homework now. Haha!

2009-01-12T01:52:00.000-08:00

Built To Last (Acoustic) - Melee

I don't know how many friggin' times I have posted this song on my blog, but I don't care. I love this song, cause it reminds me of you.

In your room, you have a lot of distractions. Mine includes a Compaq Presario laptop, and my bed. No matter how small you may see it, I regard it as a very big problem. Instead of doing my homework, I might be dreaming about a holiday to Egypt on my bed. Instead of revising on Biology, I might be on my laptop playing Guitar Hero online. So tell me how I can manage my time, you tell me? I'm very much irritated with myself for not being able to manage my time well, and of course, for procrastinating all the time.

Siti Nur Aishah Bte Ahmad, if you're gna stay like this, you will NOT succeed in achieving what you want. So please, change now, because it's still not too late.

And I can hear Dad munching Ruffles, very loudly, outside. I need ice-cream.

Tersirat di isi hatiku.

2009-01-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects

Back from the super long holiday, that ended me up with a 2 days m.c. because of a stomach virus and fever. Gerek, NOT.

The minute I came back to school, it was like ALIEN man. I mean, the people in school don't look like aliens, but, the things that were going on are alien. The teachers were talking and teaching at the speed of a bullet train. Everytime the next subject teacher enters, I'd have to turn to Yoshi and ask, "What's her name?" LOST NAK MAUT BEB. And crap, the homeworks are fill in the blank. Seriously, no-no. But I'm coping, and I made it a point NOT TO COPY homeworks.

Well, at least I enjoy school now, although I might be the only weirdo who loves school. Partly because I am motivated to do my best in everything and I don't want to waste my last year in Riverside. CHEY! I realised I don't have any resolutions this year, but I find no purpose in it. Apparently, I would forget about my resolutions halfway through the year. Crap kan, I know.

And did I say I'm sitting with Yoshi again? Yes, I am. Haha, thanks man.
I miss F.

2008-12-29T20:29:00.000-08:00

Okay great.

1. I just came back at 0000hrs today, and I effing need my beauty sleep. Didn't have enough sleep for the past one week while overseas. And my eyes are horrible.

2. I still haven't pack my bag, despite the fact that I'm gna leave tonight, or rather tomorrow morning AGAIN to Malaysia.

3. My bloody laptop just crashed, and all my important documents are lost. EVERYTHING WENT BOOOOOSHHH KABOOOM PIAAAANG CRASHHHHHH.

4. I have not had a proper meal since yesterday. I am hungry. I have no appetite to eat.

5. I have not done my homework, and next week is school. GREEEAAAAT.

Being away from home, alone, without your parents and noisy brothers, is NO FUN at all. Seriously. But at least, one week, in another country, solved the problem. And it is peaceful being alone.

I'm not making a big deal out of this, but I have to say it. Where were you when you were the person I needed most? You know what, it is true larr, what people said about you. Now I know why they can only find one word to describe you. EGOIST. Just one day, a change will make you blind.

not over, just yet.

2008-12-28T07:25:00.000-08:00

Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5

Am I enjoying life? Should it be a yes, or a no? At least life's better now.

I think I've grown to be a very materialistic girl. I mean, don't blame me man. It's just too hard too resist. Currently in Kuala Lumpur, Darby Park Hotel, and blogging. I miss my Mummy alot.

Played Hotel 626 a few days ago with cousin, and it kinda scared the shit out of me. Besides, we were IN A HOTEL, and playing that game. I remembered playing it once with my brothers, and that was the first and probably the last time 2ndBro played a game. He said he always get headaches when playing games and reading books. Like WTH?! lah kan.

Okay done :D Oh wait,
School's gonna staaart :(

And yar, one more thing, I HATE YOU lah Z, to the max man.

2008-12-22T05:57:00.000-08:00

AWAY TILL 4TH JAN.

How can I leave you, when you're in this state? How can I leave you when you're the person I love most? How can I leave you in this chaos? I can't bear to leave you. But because you begged and wanted me to leave so badly, I shall. But whatever it is, I love you Mummy, I love you alot.

2008-12-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

Please, please, please, don't do this to me. It hurts me, a lot. I suffer the pain from deep within.
The screams and shouts, I dare not leave the room. And what hurts the most, are the cries and pleas. I'm already hurt by what I hear, if I were to watch, I'd die. Never in my life, would I want to watch you suffer. I'm sorry, for all I could do, is to suffer with you in silence. Every bit of my life counts on you, cause you were the one who supported me. I can never imagine my life without you, so please don't do this to me. Because you're a friend, a lover, a teacher, always with me through thick and thin. Because I love you. Because WE love you.

2008-12-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

Cheated On Me (Live From Soho) - Gavin DeGraw

Now, my poor door has a hole, because it has no knob. Sad indeed. Laugh my friends, laugh. It was due to my forgetfulness, that made my door had to be operated, and have it's knob removed. Aaaaaaahhhh, someone fix the dooooooor please!

And I went to Sengkang today. Twilight is everywhere man! I spotted about 6 people reading Twilight and the next few books. Menyampah nyer aku. Mentang-mentang besok Twilight nak keluar, semua jadik giler.

Are you ready for 2009?
I know I'm not.
D:

D&D :(

2008-12-15T20:56:00.000-08:00

One Last Breath - Creed

You tell me now, macam mana darah tak up. Dalam banyak-banyak hari, 28 Dec jugak yang kene. I'm so freaking angry, I can turn into The Hulk tau tak. Sedih tau, tak dapat pergi D&D, especially kalau Danny, Yana and Irwan is coming. Tak fair kaaaaaaaaaaaaan! If only I'm gna leave on the 30th or something. Okay fine, I tried talking to Mummy about it, but she said no.

Tak baik ah, I wna go emo one corner ah beb. Where's my emo partner ni?

And, sorry Yana and Danny. I fell asleep halfway last night while chatting with you guys, with the lappy on my bed. How bad is that? I think Danny was part of the reason why I wanted to sleep, he sang a lullaby OTP. Haha, kidding man, it was very nice of you keeeh. But sorry guys, I can't go for D&D, though I badly wanted to, sumpah tak bedek! Especially to Irwan, hope you're better after the Futsal, take care man.

Among my Campteen mates, the only ones that I kept in touch with are Irwan, Danny and Hafizah. Okay fine, I know it sounds so anti-social, having made only 3 friends after a 4D3N camp with 199 other campers from other schools. But seriously, Campteen '08 was, erm, no comments. It was a bad experience for me, and it taught me nothing productive or useful. It was crap. I know after reading this post, those two sentimental people, Yana and Danny, who else lah kan, are so gna attack me, cause they think otherwise. Campteen '06 is still the best man, and I still keep in touch with all the Bandits like Bella and ZanderMcColl. See, I can still remember my group name and mates. I can't even remember my Campteen '06 group mates.Oh well, bad bad Aishah. What to do, I chose not to like it kan.

LOL, apparently, I did the test the same time Hawa did. Hui Shan ask me do laah, she wanna become psychologist per. Haha!

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Futsal is funnnnnn :D

2008-12-14T17:19:00.000-08:00

Right Now (NA NA NA) - Akon

Yesterday was fun :D
Was supposed to meet the girls, Iznie and Raudha, at 6.15 am. But I woke up at 6 am. Rushed like hell, and apparently, I wasn't the only one late. So we and TJ trained down to Lakeside and went to FICO Sports Hall with a few other volunteers from RP. We started out with the registrations and had lunch at around 12pm.

Then, Iznie and myself took over TJ and Adam. Iznie was looking for hot guys, sentiasa, HAHA! Anyhoot, The Rembats got to the 2nd round, but didn't make it to the quarter finals. But good try guys, next year join lagik taaau. The champion for 16 Under is Anamix and second place is Ikan Bilis. Ikan Bilis was real good and I thought they were gna win, even the friendly referees agreed with me. But I guess they were too tired and it was evident that they were giving up after Anamix scored 2 goals.

After that was the clearing up. While we waited for the arrival of Mr Hawazi Daipi, the GOH, we watched the kiddies played. They were so friggin' cute lah, like, giler mautzsxzsx. Haha, with their uber big jerseys and long shorts that look like skirts. There were 2 referees, one to monitor the match, and another to take care of the kids, like tucking in their shirts, tying their boot's laces and etc. Haha, even the GOH were laughing at them.

After the event ended, said goodbye to Mr Nice Guy and Jarain's co., and left with the other YLC 7. Reached home and slept like a pig after shower. Even mum didn't manage to nag.

I miss my friends, and can we have a proper outing before I turn into a monkey, please?
Haha, crap =.='''

/edited at 9:01 PM
Okay, I'm so bored right now, that I'm posting again. Haha, sungguh bosaaaaan. Talked to Humairah just now. And thankfully, I remembered that SCHOOL'S GONNA START!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
afseufnhawioefanmwolkmveasrdolkmvawls;kfpsodfjsvniosdjnfso!

OMG. I'm really scared of 2009 :(
Y'know what, this post sucha crap. I wna go eat now.
Danny, if you're reading this, then all the better. We need to meet up super soon and you hafta tell me from a to z, and let it all out man. And to have fun also :) K, k, k?

Okaay, dah. Jom makan pisang goreng!
And yeah, I don't understand kenape ppl call it goreng pisang. I mean, its and action, not a noun. Kan?

Of course, who doesn't?

2008-12-11T19:56:00.000-08:00

Merindu Kepastian - Art Fazil

Everybody knows I'm not a big fan of Malay music, despite the fact that I, myself, am a Malay. However, this song by Art Fazil really caught my attention. Listen to the lyrics. Jiwang beb!

andai kau menjadi pelangi
biarku jadi awannya
agar kita selalu bersama

andai kau menjadi sang duyung
biarku jadi karangnya
agar kita sentiasa bersua

andai kau menjadi merpati
biarku jadi sang bayu
agar kita sering bertemu

andai kau menjadi puisi
biarku jadi melodi
bersama kita menyanyi

andai ku menjadi rembulan
sudikah engkau menjadi kejora
hingga pagi nanti

andai esok aku menjadi tanah
sudikah engkau menjadi bunga
hiasi dadaku

Right now, nothing is safe, nothing. I feel scared, insecure, and very scared. This feeling, inside me, won't go away. It makes me feel very worried. Today, I witnessed my grandmother whom I've respected for her great sacrifices, cried. I told Mummy about my nightmare, about how I couldn't sleep after waking up from that, and she told me not to worry, it's just a bad dream. But I know, and she knows, there's more to it. I cannot stop worrying, something's not right.

See the difference?

2008-12-10T04:42:00.000-08:00

If I Were A Boy - Beyonce -

I was speculating why the song mentioned boy instead of man. And I think I figured out why. I guess Beyonce's definition of boys are the ones still at the "playground". Whereas men, they are rare, but definitely somewhere. Okay, crap, I know.

I think I can finally understand why a man/boy enjoys watching football so much, to the extend of waking up in the wee hours of the morning, for the sake of not wanting to miss any match. I get very excited watching football y'know. Gelagat mereka sungguh lucu. And whatmore, Vernon loves to say Jumaat Jantan, the no. 23 Singapore player.

Big Bro ordered 4 different pizzas for dinner, but I couldn't even finish one slice D: But I still think Rite Pizza tastes better than Pizza Hut or Canadian Pizza. New York's Pizza is nice too, but they only have one Halal outlet, which is in Khatib. Right, why the heck am I talking about pizzas now? Probably because I miss Mr Jamal and my mendaki mates :( Mr Jamal loves to treat us to pizza y'know, once or twice every semester, tu pasal aku suke dier ^^

Okay, hopefully I'm not gna blog about food anymore. Huahuahua.
And, Danny Phantom, it's tangan kanan yang gatal, nak dapat duit kan kan kan? Lol. && I still cannot friggin' find your blog! K takper, I'll rely on my 6th sense, hehe. Kalau dah jumper, siap ahhhhh. ^^

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis.

2008-12-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

Love Lockdown - Kanye West

YES, I've moved :D
Danish, did you have a hard time looking for my blog?

It's been donkey years since I had a proper update,it'll be surprising if anybody gets here at all. I have totally lost my ability to blog and express myself openly D:

Anyhoot, check out the song. Haha, my brother was feeling Kanye West when his friend bought him this shutter shades look alike from KL. And Hum-ster, it's true, TWILIGHT belum keluar daaaah. Haha, yang aku tgk tu sneak preview. Paisehh. But I still think the movie is terrible. The baseball scene was the coolest part. But the other parts were a total letdown. Of course I'd expected more since I've read the book and the sequels. Bangga lar tu. Haha, apparently, today I was supposed to go out with Dan, but the both of us totally forgot about it. ^^

Gna volunteer for NorthWest CDC's Futsal Competition this Saturday with Iznie Twinneh and Raudha Gilerszx. Besides, Shahari and co. are coming down to, good luck guys :D

My hands are itching, tanda nyer, nak dapat duit kan kan kan? Yeay! I wna go shopping badly. Both brothers aren't at home currently. That equals to the TV to myself. Hehe, gna watch Singapore VS Indonesia match tonight :)

cause, I'M BACK.

2008-11-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

Dealova - Once

It got me wondering for second, when Dan phrased me this question:
"It's not even half your life, so why worry about this?"

I realised the moment he said that. I realised that, I AM NOT, LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. I realised that love, is not what I thought it is. Love is:
L - Living everyday wanting to make that person happy
O - Only wanting them and no one else
V - Valuing everyday you have together, and most importantly,
E - Erasing all of the fears and allowing yourself to love again

Look on the bright side man, at least, I'm still alive and breathing :)

hanya tinggal janji-janji palsu

2008-11-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

Just like the moon
I'll step beside
And let your sun shine
Isolation in process.

what ya talkin' bout?

2008-10-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

If this isn't love?
Then what is it?
Tell me, tell me, tell me what it is.
Oh, don't have to tell me, cause I know.
And you know it too.
Stop denying it. And stop the pretense.

Bleaaargh. It. Is. Absolutely.
Better. If. I'd. Act. As. If. I.
Don't know. Don't care. Don't bother.
*covers ears and screaams*
LALALALALALAALALALAAAAAA~

I'll be away for camp during the weekends and will be having my Malay O Levels on Tuesday. And I don't think I wanna go out in this awful state. All I want is to spend my holidays at home. If you ask how awful is my state right now, then I'll ask you, is having your right eye smaller than the left awful enough? Don't talk about it.
HIATUS, till God knows when.

hidup melaayu!

2008-10-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Hahaa. I interviewed the Main Committee applicants this afternoon. And Teck Chuan was hilarious and soooo cute. And I think most of the students were distracted during the interview cause Wei Loke, Isabel and me were eating and munching awaaay. Ms Lim was very nice - she brought snacks and chocolates, and even bought drinks for each of us. Thanks!

And I seriously want to applaud Sufiliyana for her efforts. She made me really really proud of her, and girl, I have to tell you this: You might not succeed now, but rest assured, cause your success will come later, if not, sooner. During the interview, I was very happy to have her looking so confident and smiling. It enlightens me a loooot, I tell you. I cannot stop saying this, and I want to say this again: Sufiliyana, I'm so happy and proud of you! And, I haven't forget yet. It's your 14th birthday right? So...
HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY!
And continue to make your parents and everyone proud alright?

Aaaand now, BACK TO REALITY. Reality is that, I have a lot of events, meetings and work to do. With people being very pushy and not trying to understand my situation, I have a hard time coping with the piling workload. GRRRRRR. Sometimes, I do feel like screaming and killing and chokeslamming and slapping and kicking people. But I guess, we'll just have to be patient. Afterall, abusing people doesn't help to solve problems or lighten the workload.

MAT SALLEH NAK DATANG ON MONDAAAAY,
and I'm gonna talk to theem :)

craackpot

2008-10-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that exams are freaking over,
Despite the fact that school is about to end,
Despite the fact that it is the month of Syawal,
Despite the fact that I have just recovered from fever,
I AM STILL BUSY AND STRESSED! :(

I just got my results today. I'm not really contented with it, but heck, who(other than my Mum) cares? I hit most of my targets. But A. Maths and Biology was a total letdown. I tried to talk things out with my Mum, but I guess she wanted something better. The past few days had been sucky, and I am hoping the days of tomorrow would be better.

I have been really busy lately. It is the norm that my November and December holidays are packed to the brim with activities. Oh well, it looks like I won't have enough time for myself.

It is utterly disappointing that things turned out this way. I have been trying to work things out with you, M. I would never want to raise my voice, not at all. But I have to stand up for myself, I have to defend myself, and tell the truth. If I do not speak up, it would be unfair, cause I'd be punished for something I did not do. I want you, to understand my situation. I want you to appreciate my efforts. I want you to be happy that you have me. I want you to encourage me to do better. Trying being in my shoes. You will understand.

i'm a neutron.

2008-10-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

I shall update properly soon, okaay? So don't worry.
My only purpose of updating this blog is to remind AZUZU (Read: Azura) something.

AZUUUUUZUUUUU!
Hahaaa. I know among the girls, I'm the youngest. But I'm not that yooung y'know. If you can still remember, we, as in you, Humster, Mariam and me celebrated my 14th birthday last year with a Bengawan Solo cake and bunga api-s. So today, I am legally 15!
This dear friend of mine, wished me: "HAPPY FOURTEENTH BIRTHDAY AIS!" on her blog! Silly in a cutee way. I didn't realise it at first though. Azuzu, you cannot make me stop laughing laah deyyy!

Anyway, my greatest thanks to:
Nur Azura, Nur Humairah, Natasha, Nur Hawa, Siti Zubaidah, Benjamin Soh, Tan Jia Jun, Farid Matrix, Chow Shu Li, Mama Mardhiah and Papa I.A. (?!), Faruq, Zubair, Ragu, Farhan, Nurhidayah and Nurfidiana Ramlan, Chin Wen, Tay Hui Shan, Wei Loke, Muhd Shazwan and more
for the presents and wishes. I appreciate it a lot, from the bottom of my heart.

If you realise, a group of people (who are obviously important in my life), are missing from this list. Really disappointing.

make the world know.

2008-10-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

It hurts when you put words into my mouth, accusing me of things I have never done. It hurts when you don't appreciate my sacrifices. It really hurts, especially at this point of time, when I'm trying very hard, and when the day is drawing nearer. It comes to show that my efforts are useless and I have wasted my time and tears on you, and that you do not appreciate my presence at all. My patience has a limit, so don't try me. Only God knows how I feel.

Because what I want is only - for you to LISTEN, just listen to me. That's all.

Look After You - The Fray

i thought life would be so much easier.

2008-09-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

We Cry - The Script

Yoshi was being a good boy today. He did his homeworks, and gave me taught me a E Maths question. But at the same time, he was being utterly irritating. Haha, I don't like it when he is cleverer than me, despite the fact that he is gaming everyday, doesn't do his homework often, and etcetera. It makes me feel inferior.

Anyway, went for my Doctor appointment, for the Idon'tknowhowmany-th time. I thought life would be soooo much easier. My Mummy imposed curfews, so that I would get better:
:( No chilled drinks
:( No sweeets
:( No crackers and biscuits
:( No Pringles, Lays, Ruffles, Stax!
:( No ice-creeeeeeaaaaam!
:( No FAST-FOOOOOD!?

Aaaaaaargh, so saaad. This equally means that....
NO SNACKING! :(

Yah yah, I know she wants me to get well. The doctor said that if I don't get well, then it meaans..

Updated 7:42 PM:
I feel soo sick. My eyes are very sore and watery, my throat hurts from too much coughing, I can't breathe properly cause my nose is blocked and the medicines taste really really bad. Hopefully, hopefully, I can do my Orals. Dear God, please help me.

why i love/hate today.

2008-09-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

If there is a reason why I should love today, it would be because I finally spent time reminiscing the past and relive the memories, esp with Azura! Haha, sun funnyyyy.

If there is a reason why I should hate today, it would be because the menstrual cramps almost killed me. Oh, the agony of being a girl, lady and woman!

random note.

2008-09-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

Before you do anything, first, press play on the Imeem video below, and make sure you listen to it till the end.

My favourite childhood memories:
1. Eating Dad's specially made ice-cream!
2. Watch my brothers' MAGIC SHOW before going to bed :P
3. Fly kite at the park every single day..

and aloooot more. Just can't list all of them right now. I still remember, when I was young, a kiddy still, I was very jealous of my second Bro. Everytime he comes near my Mummy, I'd pull his hair. Hah!

And so, how was my holidays? Mediocre, nothing special though (other than the awesome time out with the gang on Wednesday). Managed to do at least do about 3/4 of the holiday homeworks done, and I'm proud of that eh. And yesterday, instead of doing my Composition, I watched telly, King Kong to be specific (despite the fact that I've watched it for 6987391280 times). I have enjoyed(?!) my holidays =.=""

Of late, I keep asking myself questions. Is that a good or bad thing?

Why make a promise, when you know you can't fulfill it, but break it.
It may seem nothing to you. But it means a lot to me.
I'm sorry is all you have to say.

Well, I have decided.
I might not be updating so soon or as frequent as before.
I vowed(cey wah!) to focus on my studies and good grades.
So Aishah, pull up your socks,
put on your gear and books(crap!?),
and stop PROCRASTINATING!!!

run baby, run

2008-09-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings

Again, you did it.
But you know, I'll never hate you.

first day.

2008-09-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

Nyala (Lagu Tema Drama 1988... Segaris Sinar) - Aliff Aziz

Apparently, someone got me hooked to Malay songs! Haha.

yeay!

2008-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

Besok puasa! Yay! :DDDDDDDD

2008-08-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

One morning, as I was having my Physics lesson, I received a sms from an unfamiliar number. The message: "Turn to page 297 of your Biology textbook." I quietly took out my Biology textbook, and did as told. The letters ily were scribbled near the bottom of that page in pencil. The handwriting was familiar and I could recognize it instantly. Of course, who else would it be, if not... I was close to tears when I thought about it.

kerana mu..

2008-08-26T18:16:00.000-07:00

change, changing and changed.

2008-08-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

What is the secret of success?
For me, peace within.

Berhenti berharap; Stop hoping.

come back.

2008-08-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ayah, I miss you.
I don't care if you don't earn enough.
What I care is the love you give, and
the time you spend with me,
with us, your family.
Please, for the sake of me.